The Search for Eve

the story goes that many moons ago some female* due to her particularly carnal nature or the spectacular nature of the male's ability to lift heavy weights ( her for instance ) over a shoulder, had sex with him thus spawning all of mankind . she is called, because we have mostly used mitochondria to trace our descent from her, the mitochondrial eve.
she must have been crazy.
dont take my word for it . two cambridge grads have this to say.
- douglas noel adams - it was a bad idea to come down from the trees.
the clincher,
- mary beard (in her times literary supplement blog) -" it was the custom for women using public or restaurant lavatories to operate the flush with their feet – if it was at a reasonable height. "
http://timesonline.typepad.com/dons_life/2008/11/strange-america.html
the comments thereafter make very interesting reading.
the evidence gleaned from the numerous authoritative sources such as the results of the 2000 and 2004 prez elections in america, sandhyanand and video zonkers clearly show that not only has she given rise to a very strange line of daughters but also a very very strange species indeed.
the endless and mindless delving into the mechanics of toilet flushing and how one washes hands and difficulties thereof combined with the deep question of ` what to do with the doggy bag ?` is exactly the kind of instructions for toothpick use that drove wonko the sane to his asylum. (or was it out of it. )
what we need to do is -
1 find this lady
2 invent time travel
3 genetically modify her
4 find out who she mated with
5 kill him and
6 promptly disappear from existence from the past present and future. ( this being the necessary consequence because you were stupid enough to go meddling with a- a female b-a female relative ancestral to yourself c-einstein )
so we are stuck then in this world - spawn of that fateful evening - having to deal with toilet flushing issues and ads of sanitary napkins.
the ads for sanitary napkins are another proof of the extremely twisted nature of our genetic inheritance. sanitary napkins that suddenly bloom up in multipetal splendor and then absorb the sum total of all the fluid in a single average ocean are very routine on them. every woman (except for those poignant few primary amennorhoeics and secondary amenorrhoeics) bleeds at regular intervals but i doubt she emits veritable deluges that are only held back by the dykes that labor mightily against them.
All suggestions regarding what might have to be done tamaam bayanaton ko maddhenazar rakhte hue will be entertained.


PS
1 i dont know how to reconcile my use of information from outside sources with my assertion of copyright on this blogs contents. i attribute all direct quotes but that is about what i can do with my level of ip law knowledge.
2 the pune municipal corporation as part of it s duties to deal with biomedical waste conducts regular checks in hospitals. during one such inspection of a certain medical college outstanding performance for disposal practice was noted . the only objection raised was against the hostel. apparently the girls hostel of a medical college generates large quantities of biomed waste. the sanitary napkins were named "blood contaminated waste" and appropriate measures were ordered to be taken. after strong rebuttal of suggestions to establish within the hostel a central napkin disposal container the issue was swept under the carpet. clearly these sanitary napkins are a big problem.
3 wonder if the bra burners ever burnt sanitary napkins.