The Point that is to Be Made is That

In a land ( and this is revolutionary in this field ) not very far from here there lived a woman . This obviously makes life very complicated for me and everyone else . It is time therefore to introduce a twist . The woman meets a man from a land far far away . This is of course an event occurring purely by chance not having been orchestrated by sinister and/or non-sinister forces .
So that is all we shall say about that , the fact of ( or the point in ) the matter being that they met . This caused the woman to be greatly revolted . ( This story is obviously meant to boggle the mind . )
Why , you might ask , was she of all things , revolted . You see she was told as a little girl in pigtails that strangers ( by which of course we mean men from lands far far away ) were bad . She was in a word , xenophobic .
But still , why revolted ? Why not scared or angry ? Well because he was not scary . I mean ie the chronicler means that the man was puny and was barely even of a definable stature . Not angry , because well , he was not mean . Not then a man capable of arousing xenophobia . In fact , when the two met – the man and the woman ie ( you see some readers forget ) – he was very polite . He said something to the effect of the day being rather pleasant and the woman ( the one from a land not very far from here ) lending even more pleasantness to it . The question then remains - why revolted ?
Because of his dress . It was because of his dress . When he was commenting on days and women and their synergistic effect on overall pleasantness , she was closely observing his outfit . Who on earth , she thought , would wear a dress inclusive of purple trousers and a pink shirt . This revelation has hopefully cast from the minds of the readers the grave sense of apprehension regarding the mechanisms of women`s minds .
Hardly did the shock of the ensemble pass than she realized his buttons were irregularly buttoned . She hastened to point this out to him . This caused him immediately to cease his contemplation on the theory of the pleasantness of everything . In fact he realized that life had pitfalls and that this was one of them . He proceeded to essay a stunning comeback with a reply almost unprecedented in all history . He said , “ Madam , haven’t you heard ? Everyone out in the land far far away wears their buttons just so . It is quite passé among the fashionable crowd to wear them straight . “
Revulsion , fie upon you , you revolting emotion . How dare you arise ? This man is fashionable . Fashionable cannot be revolting . I could probably get him to tell me a few of his ideas on fashion . Then I could get back at that woman from a land not very far from here ( from where , if you recall , she herself was ) . She is always going on about the clothes they wear in a land far far away . ( Since this is a complicated story , the land far far away just mentioned is not the same land far far away that we were referring to with respect to the man with purple trousers and pink shirt )
( Note from author :- Bracketted sentences are the author`s thoughts other than those he considers absolutely essential to the comprehension and appreciation of the story by the readers . They are however vitally important to himself . )
“ So irregularly buttoned shirts a land far far away , are they ? Must be unusual , the place , I mean . I have traveled to lands far away but they seem to be very similar to my own in the mode of their raiment . You must tell me more of yourself and the place where you come from . “
“ You are very kind madam . All a journeying man needs is an attentive ear and maybe some food and drink . “
“ Don`t worry about it . People can gain immensely from knowledge of lands far far away . “
( Society has rightly made it a great virtue to listen to women when they speak and knowing from their talk what they really are thinking. This being a complicated story we break new ground and listen to the man . )
“ Well madam as you wish then . I come from a land far far away . ( We will now discontinue the use of this term and replace it with Pinkland . ) I mean Pinkland . A rather nice place where people are always happy and gay . As I have already told you , people wear their buttons irregular . This fashion caught on with the launch of the ` Weird ` line by Weird dude and Noted fashion guru in the summer just passed . The buttons on women’s clothing are rather bigger to accentuate their feminity . They tend to wear blue and red which as I see is in total contradistinction to the colors you ladies seem to wear .”
( Spare a moment for the lady`s thoughts – Wow the guy has command over language . )
“ The architecture in the place is also at variance to your `s . It is rather more earthy . Vibrant colors and natural materials are used to reflect our deep connection with nature .”
“ The people as I have already said are always gay and they are perpetually finding occasion to make merry .You cannot in all the world find a happier people . They like to enjoy after the hard work they put into their jobs in the ultramodern factories and burgeoning farms . “
( Spare another moment – Oooh ! )
“ I`m a guy who loves to travel . One meets a lot of interesting people that way . “
( Moment – Ooooh ! )
“ I mean look at yourself . But that later . I can cook and can clean up after myself too . Iwork in the entertainment industry . It is a place that lets me express myself and bring out the many dimensions within myself . I act in movies and at times take up direction too . Having spent a lot of time among crass films I have finally managed to distill a pure art form and have developed myself as an actor true to the creed of acting . All my work is now sincere to itself thus attaining self sufficiency eliminating the need to validate it with the mere opinion of the body public . It takes a true viewer to plumb the depths of what we are trying today . “
( Ah well . I had to ask . )
“ My mother has raised me to be a good Pinklander . I have therefore traveled to every part . It is a magical land . Being in my line of work in a magical land means sometimes the line between reality and virtuality blurs beyond any recognition .
The lady cuts in at this point , “ I must really be going . It`s been nice to speak to you . “
( Moment – Atleast I got a story )
So that is all we have to say about that . But this story is descended from the very knots tied by unthinking scouts in an effort to turn out a sheepshank . It has the character of one likely to pop up from behind a wall and ensnare one when least expected .
The man from Pinkland realized that his story about the buttons had gone too far . He straightened out the shirt front and turned around because forward lay the way to a reunion with the woman just departed . Now whom should he bump into but the stupid woman from a land not very far from here ( which is now called Orangia . )
The stupid woman is actually very intelligent . In fact she is the most intelligent being in Orangia . On seeing the man from Pinkland ( who the reader will recall was quite a spectacle in his purple trousers and pink shirt ) she felt exhilarated .
An endless series of questions was asked before regarding the appearance of revulsion in the mind of the orangian woman . So the effort is to cut out all the stress associated with a prolonged research into this obscure line of thought .
It was because just as she saw him a Giant Condor soared over her high . But how the …….. ( no questions remember .)
She followed the bird in it` s path in the sky . Doing great justice to her status as the most intelligent woman in Orangia she completely ignored the Pinklander .
On seeing her look up , he turned his gaze too and looking up he suddenly broke into a mighty run . Why he should desire to make such a rapid exit from the story he has failed to justify till date . Suffice it to say there was a reason .
Now the stupid lady from Orangia saw the lady from Orangia .
The lady proceeded to tell the stupid lady all the latest trends in Pinklander fashion . The stupid lady then suddenly remembered that the man`s buttons were proper when she had seen the condor . This became a contentious issue . 15 minutes and numerous names called caused no solution to emerge .
It was finally resolved ( obviously since the story is recursively convoluted in 13 dimensions ) by the arrival of the man from a land far far away ( as Pinkland sounds like nothing on earth ) in his ordinarily buttoned shirt . ( also obvious )
The sight of the man this time aroused no revulsion and not even exhilaration . Actually that is strictly speaking wrong . The stupid woman was exhilarated because she was right . The lady was very sad because she was wrong and since she obviously ( which is obviously a word I have used too much ) had been had .
The stupid woman , who was very intelligent and also as just shown , right , will be rechristened Smart Dame .
Smart Dame kissed the man from a land far far away . Just like that . Standing there she kissed him . He was stunned and she was further exhilarated .
For all his shortcomings , which included , if you hadn` t already noticed . being a teller of tall tales , there was one thing he could do well . He could kiss a woman . Kiss her till she forgot about the world .